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I am thankful, more in love than ever and one happy kid. But this state of feeling all the feelings also made me realize I anyways really lack of energy. Because I can’t and don’t want to hide behind my desk anymore, I can’t for example mute my hurting back again and again, just because „there’s not a minute left today for caring about what my body tries to tell me“. The truth is, there is never enough or equal time for all of what matters to me, for my son, for my love, for my friends and for my work. We still can’t have it all, not everything at the same time. And eventhough I find myself in the process of learning how to let things go, I sometimes fear the future. And I get tired of explaining myself. Of explaining that I can’t co-run a company (for 9 years now!), raise a child, love others and care for myself, while having only two hands and one head, without (at least temporary) setting priorities. Without being unperfect. You simply can’t do everything for everybody. I can’t. Always „giving 110%“ in every single part of one’s life is a myth. That’s why I decided to allow myself to calm a bit down for now. 2019 has been crazy beautiful and tough to the bones (literally). But it also taught me to stand up for myself. To say ’no‘ and admit: ‚I cannot do it all, I really need to rest‘. I am working on the understanding that productivity doesn’t make me more worthy – everyday. But still I get nervous from time to time, whenever I feel like I am not ENOUGH. Still. Because we live in crazy fast times and whatever I do or write or create seems so far away and irrelevant and forgotten after a pretty short time. I don’t have an answer how to heal completely or how to make it all work out. I just know that every day is a new day. You decide. You’re not alone. And you’re once for all enough. ️ #youareenough
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